Sunday 23 October 2016

Can this single mother pick up where she left off?

April 2006


Dear Alan, You have read for my mother and frankly she cannot stop talking about your reading. So I thought I'd give you a try since I'm 21 years old and at what you might call a turning point in my life. What do you see for me? Is it more of the same or am I heading somewhere else? I look forward to any insights you can offer.

Kind regards,


Dear Dana,

How nice it is to hear that you've come to me from a personal recommendation! I hope that you are equally satisfied with your reading.

Right, let's begin. The first thing that I get when I link with your energy is that you are actually a mother yourself. I feel that like your mother you have a daughter. And while I sense that it wasn't a planned pregnancy, your daughter is the light of your life. I want to connect the letter 'C' to her. Going out on a limb, I want to call her 'Carla' or 'Carly'. I'll just go with Carly for the rest of this reading.

I have you at university when you fell pregnant. And from what I see, you were not in a position to continue your studies and be a single mum. So I feel the education stopped and you returned home. I'd say that was somewhere around three years ago. And during that time, I sense you have been a devoted and doting mother. Carly hasn't wanted for anything. How lucky she has been!

I feel that you did exactly what you had to do – and it was the right thing to do – when you left university. You had to focus on Carly. And I sense that you knew you'd be going it alone. I don't have you connected with the father much at all. There's no resentment or hostility coming through. It's like it's a given that he's not around.

The situation you're in has been perfect. You've found your feet and you've given Carly a lovely start in the world. But I have to say that I feel change is just around the corner.

I want to connect you with an opportunity to return to university. This is something that you already know about and I sense this is the 'turning point' to which you refer in your question. I don't feel that it's the same university. This one seems different – for one thing it feels geographically farther away.

If you accept the offer, you'll have to relocate and you fear that little Carly will experience too much upheaval. Well, I actually have you being more affected than her. I predict Carly will be fine. You, however, will have to stand on your own two feet without your support network. And yet, I see you doing so quite well. Of course, there are going to be ups and downs – there always are in situations like this.

One of the reasons that I feel you will thrive in this environment is because I sense that this university has a much more accepting and contemporary, if not liberal, attitude toward single mothers. This won't be the uphill battle you'd have had to fight at your former university.

So, I'm pleased to say that everything feels right about you accepting the offer to pick up where you left off. It's the right time. It's the right place. Both you and Carly are going to do very well there. But, and herein lies something very important, this time is for you.

Carly will be with you and, of course, you will still have to be her mum. But I have this phase of your life being about you re-establishing yourself and rediscovering who you are and who you can become, which brings me to another topic – relationships.

I see that this, if you will, self-centred period being almost exclusively for you. This means that it is not the time to meet another and fall in love. Don't worry, that will come later – and there is no need to rush that. So that's my only word of caution.

Please know that once again you are doing the right thing – for yourself and for your daughter.

I wish you all the best in what is going to be such an exciting adventure! And thank you for allowing me to read for you.


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