Ask Alan

Scott's in a love triangle. Can there be a happy ending?

February 2006


Hi Alan, I would guess that most questions about love come from women. Not this one as I'm a man in need of serious advice – and quick. I've kinda got myself into this love triangle. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep things going as they are but equally don't know how to get out of this mess. Help! What do say?



Dear Scott, The first impression that I get as I connect with your energy is all this turmoil inside of you. I sense you've been masking it for some time but from what I'm getting I'd say you're approaching the breaking point.

All the cloak-and-dagger shenanigans you've resorted to were fun at first but now it's too much for you. It really is sapping you of energy that is vital to your well-being and the whole charade needs to come to an end, and soon.

And if you don't believe me, then ask yourself why you've become a frequent purchaser of antacids at your age. And the hair thing? It's all tied up in this triangle.

I'm sensing that this mess, as you called it, started about 16 months ago. I want to put you in a new position at work with new responsibilities and in a new location. I feel this career move was something you wanted but that it was more than you had bargained for. The stress, I'm sensing, was very severe.

And to cut a long story short, while you were away you began to engage in some 'recreational' activities to ease your mind and to relax. I believe the best way to describe what happened next is a 'slippery slope'.

You've not given me any names so I'll refer to your long-term partner as 'M' and your new partner as 'S'. Now with M I have to say that I don't feel you have to worry about letting the cat out of the bag because it's already jumped out.

She knows. I sense she has known since before Christmas. I sense that you've suspected that she's suspected. Well, I feel she knows more than you are giving her credit for.

The good news is that there's a relationship for you to patch up. I don't see her leaving you or you her. But equally I do feel considerable pain attached to her. I feel that M will be receptive and willing to listen to what you have to say. The window opportunity for bringing this to a happy ending is short – before the next full moon on the 13th.

There will be consequences, but I feel that the two of you will manage to keep this as a 'private affair'.

Turning to S now, she is not going to be as difficult as you think. Brace yourself, because I have to say that I've not sensed that she has looked to you as a permanent love or long-term companion. She, like you, was looking for an outlet, an escape. So I feel that you can count yourself lucky when it comes to breaking things off with her.

If you do end your affair with S and begin patching things up with M before the next full moon, you will have had the most narrow of escapes. Life can return to the routine that you are now yearning for.

Will there be consequences? Of course, there will be. You can expect some ground rules to be laid down by M. And your attendance of regular meetings of a specific kind (you know the ones I'm referring to) will be mandatory.

Your road isn't going to be easy, but it will take you back to where it is that you want to return.

And with that, I wish you all the best!


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